Not Another Teen Insert Fic!
by biblehermione
Summary: Just four friends (three of which are total blondes) get thrown into M.E. Not a typical one, which means---NO FALLING IN LOVE WITH CHARACTERS OR VICE-VERSA! All of FotR up. PG for mild violence/gore and VERY mild profanity. Now with deleted scenes!
1. Hi, Middle earth!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the LOTR characters or places; the late, yet great, JRR Tolkien does. I dun own Grisel, Kelly, or Tabitha either. They own themselves.  
I do not own the plot either... I basically own nothing in this fic! All I own is my CD collection and backpack!   
  
Once again, insomnia plays a part in my writing. This, once again, is unoriginal. Four friends get sucked into the LotR universe through reasons unexplained. The four  
friends are all ... well, lets just say less than sane.  
Random person: UNDERSTATEMENT!  
Whit: Shuddup -_-  
  
I am posting this before it is finished to test it out... I wanna see what the people think. ^_^ ENJOY!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kelly, Whit, Tabitha, and Grisel all sat in Tabitha's brother's room, bored.   
  
Whit flipped through her "Fellowship of the Ring" novel for the billionth time that year. She was dressed in her favorite black turtleneck with "Normal People Worry   
Me" embroidered on the front in silver, blue jeans, and combat boots. Her big baby blue eyes widened and she tucked a bit of her dark blonde hair behind her ear.  
She never wore her glasses outside of school because she thought they made her look like John Lennon.  
  
Kelly was looking at one of Tabitha's scrapbooks she had made especially for her... It was a collection of Kelly's crushes. She had on a navy blue tanktop with   
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" printed on the front, along with a happy chibi face, identical to Kelly (her friends had all chipped in to buy it for her birthday). Along with   
that, she wore faded jeans and coolie flowered open-toed shoes. Her blonde hair was down and barely above the shoulders, her blue eyes behind silver frames.  
  
Tabitha had on a wide-sleeved 70's style shirt with butterfly designs, bell bottoms, and sneakers. Her thick dark-blonde-ish hair was just below the shoulders and had  
a purple and blue wrap in the front on the right. She was bopping her head to some N*Sync CD on her Walkman. This caused Whit to shudder, because N*Sync   
scared her.  
  
Grisel, the sanity of the group, was typing on her laptop. Her hair was jet black and at her shoulders with golden streaks at the front. She wore a white shirt with a   
silver rose, a dark denim jacket with jeans to match, and open-toed black clogs.  
  
It was dead silence, save for the occasional "Bum bum bum" from Tabby's mouth, which was responded by a glare.  
  
"What is so interesting about that book?" Kelly broke the silence.  
  
Whit's head shot up from the book, which she had just finished with, by the way. "Legolas? Frodo? Aragorn? The epic struggle between good and evil?!" Whit replied,  
but it didn't stop there. She started to ramble about the books, going on and on for about ten minutes while the others sat and watched in awe.  
  
"I thought she could only talk for five minutes without taking a break," Grisel said.  
  
"Ditto."   
  
Whit looked back at them. "Any questions?"  
  
"Next time I ask you that, could you ignore me?" Kelly asked.  
  
"Dealio! Now, it's time for you to watch the greatest movie EVER!" Whit held up her "Lord of the Rings" DVD.  
  
"Isn't that PG-13?" Kelly asked.  
  
"Yes, Kelly, and you are thirteen." Grisel reminded her.  
  
"Oh yeah," Kelly remembered her age. She spotted the DVD that Whit was getting out of it's case. Kelly's eyes became all possessed-looking. "Shiiinyyyy...."  
  
"Kelly, NO!" Tabitha attempted to draw Kelly's hand away from the disc, but it was too late. Kelly had knocked the DVD out of Whit's hands, causing it to fall to the  
ground and shatter into small pieces.   
  
The second it shattered, the four friends felt themselves being sucked into the ground beneath their feet.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"You just HAD to go after the shiniest thing, didn't you?" Tabitha asked Kelly as they fell through the multicolored.... vortex/thing.  
  
"Whitney shouldn't get the DVD out near me!"  
  
"Whitney, why did you get it out near her?"  
  
But Whit was too busy staring at the colors.  
  
"Prettiful..."  
  
The others rolled their eyes.  
  
Grisel, being the intelligent person she is, took in all of the surroundings, including the endless bottom of the vortex, or at least, it seemed endless.  
  
"Guys, what is th-?"  
  
The four fell onto the ground in a pile. Too bad Whit, the tallest, was on top.  
  
"Ow," Grisel groaned. "Kelly, your foot is in eye."  
  
"Well, Tabitha's FINGERNAIL IS IN MINE! OWWWWWWW!"  
  
"Whit's toe is in my nose."  
  
"I have on boots!"   
  
"No you don't." Tabitha replied.  
  
Whit pulled up her foot "Yes I do! See?" She showed her bootless foot to the others.  
  
Everyone else: e_e  
  
Whit looked confused, "Where are my b-" she was answered by two black combat boots falling on her head. "There they are!" She hugged her boots and then put  
them back on.  
  
"Uh, Whitney, would you, like, move?" Kelly asked.  
  
Whit got up and helped her friends up. It was a miracle that Kelly's eye was not harmed. She put her glasses back on, which were also unharmed.  
  
"Unbreakable frames! Guaranteed for life!"   
  
"Go figure," said Grisel.  
  
All of a sudden, a voice broke out "BLIMEY!"  
  
The four friends turned around and saw two small people with large feet. Kelly's chibi-looking face set in.  
  
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!"  
  
The small people raised their eyebrows and the other three stared at Kelly and sighed.  
  
"Kelly, you're scaring the poor little things," Grisel said.  
  
"Um, excuse me, Miss. We are not poor," the one named Frodo spoke up.  
  
"I know that! You are perfectly respectable hobbits, although, you believe Gandalf killed the family name when he helped your uncle fight the dragon.  
Errr... He did just push him out the door though." Whit said, once again not stopping for a breath.  
  
Frodo's eyes went wide. "How'd you know that?"  
  
Whit shrugged. "Good sources."  
  
"Ohhhhhhh..."  
  
"Wait, they look familiar," Kelly scrunched up her face in her thoughtful way.  
  
Grisel held out Whit's LotR CD case, which had fallen through the vortex, along with all of their backpacks.  
  
"Oh yeah," Kelly nodded.   
  
Tabitha leaned down a bit to talk to the hobbits.  
  
"What are those on your fingers?" Frodo pointed out Tabitha's unusually long fingernails.  
  
"My glittery pink nails!" ^_^  
  
"They look deadly to me," Sam observed.  
  
"THEY ARE!" Whit yelled.  
  
"Shuddup," Tabitha mumbled.  
  
Kelly got her flute from her backpack and started to play. Then, she hit a wrong note.  
  
"Oh, crap!" She yelled at her flute and hit it on a random rock.   
  
Everyone else: O.O  
  
"Hehe, nice, flute, good flute," Kelly attempted to look innocent and she rubbed the flute. Then, she noticed the dent she had made. "Crap," she mumbled, once again.  
  
Frodo slowly shook his head, and walked on through the vegetable patch. (A/N Was that what that was?)  
  
Whit noticed this and followed him. "Hey, Frodo, can we come with you to destroy the Ring?"  
  
Frodo stared up at her, looking quite horrified.  
  
"We'll try to be sane!"  
  
"Is that something you can live up to?"  
  
"Uh," Whit thought about that for a few minutes, but somehow, her mind had drifted to the pre-algebra problem from last Tuesday that she had never figured out.   
She snapped out of the trance and nodded. "We'll try!"  
  
"Okay," Frodo replied. "C'mon, let's go, Miss..."  
  
"I'm Whitney, that's Kelly, Tabitha, and Grisel!" She pointed out the rest of the human girls, two of which were scaring Sam half to death.  
  
"And, like, he totally talked to me!" Kelly's voice was more high-pitched than usual.  
  
"OHMIGOSH!" Tabitha screeched.   
  
Sam and Grisel stood, just staring at the two boy-obsessed teens.  
  
Frodo noticed that his best friend was about to die, "Let's move on."  
  
The teenage girls all picked up their backpacks and made their way behind the two hobbits.  
  
Kelly and Tabitha continued to talk about the hotties in class, causing Whit to nearly hit them over the head with her twenty pound backpack. Two other small people  
bounded out of a row of tall vegetables, prolly corn, and, not looking where they were going, ran into Kelly, knocking her to the ground.  
  
"Hey, watch it! By the way, MERRY CHRISTMAS!" She waved from the ground.   
  
The two hobbits stared at her in awe.  
  
"Wha...?" Kelly asked, confused. She stared at Merry and Pippin as if they were giving her a look no one had ever given her.  
  
"You're a human," Merry said.  
  
"Yes, yes I am a human, named Kelly," she said before pointing to the rest of her friends and introducing them also.  
  
Frodo walked up to them from up ahead. "What are you guys doing here?" He eyed the vegetables that carried. "Oh dear. I thought you two learned your lesson from  
last week when he almost sliced your heads off with that glaive!"  
  
At the word "glaive" Whit's ears perked up. "Glaive?"  
  
"Yes, strangeling," Frodo turned back to Merry and Pippin and he was greeted with an armful of vegetables that Pippin tossed into his arms.  
  
"Take these!"  
  
Frodo's eyebrows went up, but before he could ask why, he heard a loud curse behind him. "Let's go!" he took off and was followed by the girls, Sam, Merry, and   
Pippin.  
  
"So, that guy is just mad at you 'cause you took these vegetables and some last week?" Tabitha asked Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Yeah! Well, and the potatoes from the week before-"  
  
"And some other stuff from the week before that."   
  
"No reason to be mad then, ne?" Grisel asked sarcastically.  
  
"No!" Merry and Pippin replied. As they said it, the group stumbled across a steep hill. Kelly looked over it.  
  
"That's a looooong way down!" she observed.  
  
"No kidding," Sam said.  
  
They heard another loud curse behind them and, deciding to take the chances with the hill rather than be decapitated, the companions rolled down into a road.   
  
"I'm getting serious déjà vu," Grisel said from the bottom of the pile.  
  
"Ditto," the rest of the girls replied in unison.  
  
"Mushrooms!" one of the hobbits exclaimed. The other hobbits, save for Frodo, and Whit scrambled to the mushroom patch. Whit picked one and nibbled it. "Mmm... I just need a pizza to put this on."  
  
"Pizza?" Merry asked.  
  
"The best food EVER!" Tabitha yelled from about three yards away.  
  
Meanwhile, Frodo had noticed something fishy about the road. His eyes widened.  
  
"Get off the road!" he yelled at the others, taking off for the tree roots on the other side. The others followed. Grisel's curious eyes drifted down the road and caught a glimpse of black horses before Whit dragged her under the tree roots.  
  
A black metal-gloved hand landed just above Frodo's head, which was somewhat lucky because otherwise it may have hit human hair. All eight held their breath. Frodo held the Ring in his hand, which caught Kelly's attention. The black hand moved a bit above Frodo's head, telling everyone that the soul that controlled it sensed something of great importance to it. Tabitha really didn't want to get killed in world away from her family, so she grabbed the closest thing she could find. It was her "Bye Bye Bye: limited edition singe. She sighed and decided losing it would be better than losing her life, so she kissed the single and threw it about ten yards, which made a pretty loud noise in the leaves. The black hand drew back and the eight heard footsteps run towards the area where the single had landed.  
  
The companion's eyes peeked out above the roots and saw that the coast was clear, so they stood up and ran into the forest.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Night had fallen and the eight ran through the forest, avoiding the black hand that seemed to be hunting them down.  
  
"Why do forests have to have so many trees?" Kelly asked after running into the ninth tree that night.  
  
"Because they are forests." Grisel reminded her.  
  
"Oh yeah." Kelly said.  
  
Suddenly, several black horses surrounded them. They all screamed and took off, the horses following them closely They came up on a bridge with a raft tied to it and jumped onto the raft. Grisel untied it, but then she realized that Frodo was missing. Her head raised above the bridge and saw that he was being pursued by a black rider.  
  
"Hurry Frodo! JUMP ON!" they all yelled to him. Frodo jumped onto the raft. The rider stopped his horse and turned back, joining a crowd of eight others.  
  
"Where is the nearest crossing?" Frodo asked.  
  
"A bridge twenty miles down the river," Merry said.  
  
Kelly's eyes drifted after the riders. "That is not their color."  
  
"I know!" Tabitha agreed.  
  
"They should be wearing sugar pink!"  
  
"Black is my color." Whit mumbled. "They make it seem so... Evil. I am not evil!" She cried.  
  
Sam looked her up and down. "Are you sure about that?"  
  
Whit's eyes narrowed and became a little darker. "I'm not evil."  
  
"Whatever you say," Sam replied, looking out onto the river.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Rain was falling. They had come to a large wooden door. Whit's head was thrown back and her tongue caught raindrops. Grisel and Tabitha shuddered, they just wanted to get to shelter. Kelly hated the rain, it was wet, cold, and made her grouchy. She slipped on the third mud puddle that night.  
  
"Crap!" she yelled, standing and wiping herself off.  
  
The hobbits stood at the front of the group, warm in their cloaks. Frodo knocked on the door.  
  
An elderly man's head peeked out of a small door in the larger one. He spied the four girls and became a bit scared. He was reluctant to open the door, but he decided that the girls were probably harmless. He swung the large door open and saw that they weren't alone.  
  
"Hobbits! Four of 'em!" He yelled. "And humans....I think. What do you want?" He asked, his eyes lowering and meeting Frodo's.  
  
"We wish to stay at the Prancing Pony."  
  
Kelly giggled from behind him.  
  
Frodo turned around and rolled his eyes at her. "Our business is our own" He turned back to the man.  
  
"All right, all right, I meant no offense! Can't be too careful. There's talk of strange folk abroad."   
  
Grisel turned to her human friends. "They know you're here."  
  
Whit, Kelly, Tabitha: O.O Uh oh.  
  
They made their way into Bree and reached the Prancing Pony in about five minutes. Upon entering it, they noticed it was quite a party place Frodo made his way to the counter and tried to get the attention of the bartender.  
  
"Um, excuse me," he said.  
  
"Lemme try," Tabitha said, making her way in front of Frodo. She poked the man in the back with one of her fingernails of death.  
  
"Good evening! If you need accommodations, we have some nice hobbit-sized rooms!" The man said.  
  
Tabitha's eyes narrowed. "I am not a hobbit! See?" She compared her height with Sam's  
  
The man blinked. "I was talking to that chap, there." He pointed to Frodo.  
  
"Oh, well then, continue," she looked quite embarrassed.  
  
"We are friends of Gandalf the gray," Frodo informed the man.  
  
"Gandalf? Oh, I remember him! Elderly chap, long gray beard, pointy hat?"  
  
Frodo smiled and nodded  
  
"Haven't seen him for six months."   
Frodo's smile fell.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The group sat at a rectangular table. Frodo and Sam looked depressed. Pippin was spaced out. Whit had fished a vanilla coke out of her backpack and a smile crept across her face.  
  
"Caffeine!"  
  
Grisel and Tabitha stared at her in horror.  
  
Kelly had found her own happiness in a pack of peanut butter crackers.  
  
"Mmm.... Peanut butter equals hyper Kelly..."  
  
Grisel and Tabitha became even more frightened.  
  
Merry came back to the table with a tankard filled with a drink of some sort.  
  
"What's dat?" Whit asked.  
  
"This, my friends, is a pint."  
  
"It comes in pints?" Pippin asked, astonished. "I'm getting one!" He left the table.  
  
Tabitha and Grisel now looked like this: O.O  
  
"Last time they looked like that, they were about to jump out of a plane," Whit told Frodo, who was spaced out. "Frooooooodoooooo?" she waved her hand in front of his face. "Time of death: 8:44 PM," she took Kelly's wrist and looked at her watch.  
Sam poked Frodo in the shoulder which caught his attention, "That man has done noting but stare at us since we got here."  
  
Frodo's eyes drifted to where a weather-beaten man was sitting in a corner. His head was beneath a cloak, but it seemed that his eyes could look right through a person.  
  
Whit followed his eyes. "Whoa, that dude is creeepyyyy...." Everyone else gave her looks that said "Nah, duh."  
  
"Excuse me, who is that?" Frodo asked a waiter.  
  
"That's one of those rangers. We call 'im Strider 'ere," the waiter replied.  
  
"That guy needs some English lessons like Eliza Doolittle," Tabitha stared after the waiter.  
  
Frodo suddenly jumped up and ran to Pippin. He slipped and the Ring flew into the air, catching the creepy guy's attention. The Ring fell onto Frodo's finger and he disappeared. Everyone else gasped.  
  
Tabitha pointed to the space where Frodo had been. "EVIL RING!"  
  
Grisel and Kelly just sat there looking frightened.  
  
Whit, being the avid LotR fanatic she was, just sat and waited for Frodo to reappear. When he finally did, the weather-beaten man ran up to him, slammed him against a wall, then dragged him upstairs. The remaining seven of the companions ran after him and burst the doors open. Kelly literally fell to the ground.  
  
"DON'T MOVE!" she yelled, holding up a water gun, "I have..." she looked through her backpack for other "dangerous things" and finally found one. "A big, hardback book!" she held up her science book. "And a flute!" She stood up and held all three things in her hands, some how.  
  
"You are very disturbing, child," Strider looked at Kelly.  
  
"I know!" Kelly said proudly.  
  
Strider gave Kelly an odd look. Grisel looked up at him, "Forgive her. She had serious trauma to the head as a small child."  
  
"I guessed that, but never mind what sort of trauma she had. They are coming."  
  
"Dun dun dun!" Tabitha and Whit whispered in unison.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Whit awoke with the sound of loud screams she recognized as those of the black riders.  
"What are they?" Frodo's voice asked from above Whit's head. She raised her head up, stood and looked out the window. Kelly, Tabitha, and Grisel were all sitting on the floor, looking up out the window into the moonlight.  
  
"They were once Men, great kings of Men," Strider said grimly.   
  
Grisel gasped. 'Those were kings?!"  
  
Strider nodded slowly.  
  
"Oh my gosh," Tabitha sighed.  
  
"Then Sauron gave to them Nine Rings of Power, they took them with out question, blinded by their own greed. They fell into darkness one by one. They are neither living nor dead, drawn to the power, the One," he turned to Frodo. "They will never stop hunting you."  
  
"That bites," Tabitha said, nibbling on a bag of white cheddar popcorn she had found in her backpack.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The group, including Strider had set out early the next day. Whit was getting sick of her heavy backpack.  
  
"Stupid books! Why do we need books for school anyways?! These teachers should know what they are teaching!"  
  
Everyone else kept a safe distance from the angry, unusually tall thirteen-year-old who carried the very large backpack.  
  
"Where are you taking us?" Frodo asked Strider.  
  
"Into the wild," he answered.  
  
"The wild?" Kelly asked, confused. "We're people! Not rabid wolves!" She ran after Strider, dodging random young pines along the way.  
  
"Where's he taking us?" Sam thought aloud.  
  
"Rivendell!" Strider called back. Whit stopped muttering angrily to her pack and her face cracked into a smile.  
  
"ELVES! Yay! Legolas is sooooo cool!" She practically skipped up the rest of the hill, passing the rest of the group.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The group had decided to rest at an old watch tower. Whit merrily threw her backpack off. It slid across the floor and hit a random pillar.  
  
"Whoo hoo! SCORE!"  
  
Strider got out four swords and handed them to the hobbits. He turned to the four girls. "I'm sorry I don't have swords for you, but I believe they can defend you. And, Kelly, books don't help you against RingWraiths."  
  
"I know that!" Kelly said as if it were as simple as 2+2=4. "I can fend off those old RingWraiths all by myself!"  
  
Tabitha turned to Whit and Grisel, "We're doomed." The other two nodded.  
  
Strider looked at Kelly, quite amused. "And how do you plan on doing that?"  
  
Kelly picked up a rock. "Like this!" She tossed the rock to a random place and accidentally hit Frodo in the head, knocking him unconscious.  
  
Everyone else: O.O  
  
"Whoopsies..." Kelly attempted to look innocent.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Strider had walked off to have a look around, leaving the younger people to themselves. The conscious hobbits had decided to start a fire. This awakened Frodo.  
  
"What are you idiots doing?!" He asked, putting out the fire and killing the marshmallow BBQ they had going on.  
  
"Great, now mine's all soggy," Grisel looked at her dripping marshmallow. A RingWraith cry answered that. The group ran to the sides of the tower to investigate. All nine of the Wraiths were riding towards them. The hobbits all got out their weapons and the girls ran for cover. A hooded figure made it's way towards the hobbits., followed by more hooded figures. To make a long story short, the hobbits tried to fight them off. Kelly stood up in the midst of the battle and blinked. She walked up to a random Wraith.  
  
"Look at what I can do!" She twirled around in circles, then purposely hit the Wraith in the head with a rock in her hand. The Wraith fell over and Tabitha handed Kelly her sparkly pink fingernail polish. The two wanted to prove that their hunch about the Wraith's right color was correct.  
  
Grisel and Whit: O.O  
  
Meanwhile, another Wraith attempted to kill Frodo, but Strider came in just in the nick of time, killing three other Wraiths besides the one Kelly had befallen. Speaking of that Wraith, it was all pink now. Kelly and Tabitha tilted their heads.  
  
"No no no! It's all wrong!" Tabitha exclaimed, dumping a gallon of nail polish remover on the Wraith, seriously killing him for good.  
  
Frodo had been seriously injured, so the small group headed out and for Rivendell.... Quickly.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Because of exaustion and plain grumpiness, Strider had decided to set up capm for the night.  
  
"We need to stop the poison from going through his body," Strider told the human girls. "He will soon be like the Wraiths.  
  
Kelly's eyes went really wide. "Boo! Get that kid away from me!" She crawled on her hands away from Frodo.  
  
"Kelly, stop being so.... Insert big word here!" Tabitha said.  
  
"Insensitive?" Grisel suggested.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Strider walked a few yards away to find a special plant that wouls slow the poison iun Frodo's body.  
  
A few moments later, an angelic looking lady rode up on a horse.  
  
Kelly gasped, "I want hair like that!"  
  
All: O.o  
  
The lady and Strider talked in a language none of the others understood. The lady put Frodo onto her horse and they rode off  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Strider led the remaining hobbits and girls to Rivendell.   
  
"I thought Elves were small people," Grisel said, staring at the tree based city.  
  
"Oh no," Strider answered her. "Most are taller than most humans, in fact."  
  
"Ohhh..."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Each member of the group got their own individual room but the balconies were joined. They were also offered new wardrobes... In each of their favorite colors! They each decided to wear the clothes while they were there, but wear their own when they left.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Kelly sat on her blacony and looked out at the waterfalls. The meeting the next day would decide if she and her friends were to stay in this enchanted place or if they were to return home. She spotted something interesting,.....Was that Strider...and...Arwen? And, boy, they were awfully close. Kelly ran into her friends rooms to awaken them.  
  
Two minutes later, the girls were outside with binnocullars.  
  
"Guys, its wrong to spy on people." Grisel whispered.  
  
"So what?" Tabby and Kelly asked. Strider and Arwen leaned in and kissed eachother. Kelly cheered.  
  
"Whooo! Kisses!"  
  
"Kelly!" Whit and Tabby hit her in the head, but it was too late. The couple had heard her and walked off.  
  
"Told you it was a bad idea" Grisel said, walking back to her room.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It had been Whit's idea to spy on the council from behind the bushes, too bad she didn't know they were sticky bushes...  
  
"CRAP!" Kelly got stuck by the fifth bush in five minutes.  
  
Whit put her backpack between Kelly and the bush of death.  
  
"Thanks," Kelly mumbled.  
  
"SHHH!" the other whispered. The council meeting had just begun.  
  
All four girls nearly fell asleep...Er, they actually DID about five mintues into the meeting. They were awakened by shouting, save for Tabitha.  
  
"No! Not the evil sugary pink cheerleaders!" Tabitha yelled in her sleep. The other three thanked Fuzzy that the council was too busy arguing to notice. Frodo suddenly yeleld that he would take the Ring to be destroyed. But he did not know the way.  
  
"That would make it tough to get there," Kelly mumbled.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Naw, duh," Tabitha's voice was sarcastic.  
  
Gandalf, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn (previously known as Strider) all volunteered to go with Frodo to destroy the Ring. The other hobbits rushed out from the shadows and insisited on going, too.  
  
Whit looked back at her friends. They all nodded. The four stood up and ran into the council area. Kelly tripped on a step along the way. She spoke with her face still on the ground, "We're coming, too!"  
  
Elrond and Legolas both looked quite horrified.   
  
"W-why?" Elrond asked.  
  
"'Cause Earth is really, really boring! We would be pretty useful too!" Whit grinned in a way that one my interrperate as insane.  
  
"Well," Elrond got a thinking look on his face. "You four do seem to have a knack for getting out of trouble. Although it is in quite strange ways, mind you." He looked at Kelly especially. "I guess it wouldn't hurt."  
  
Author Whit: *shakes head* If only he knew...  
  
"We have no weapons," Grisel said.  
  
"Well, what weapons would you like?"  
  
"A bow and arrow!" Grisel said immediatly. She paused to think for a minute. "And an axe!" An Elf walked in and handed her the weapons she had requested. The bow was slightly lighter in color than the arrows. The quiver that held the arrows was an orange color and the strap was red. The axe had a prettiful wooden handle. ^_^  
  
Elrond turned to Tabitha, "What weapons do you request?"  
  
Tabitha thought for a moment. "A sword and... A hatchet!"  
  
Another Elf came out and handed the short blonde her requests. The hatchet had a wooden handle that was about one and a half feet long. The sword was about four and a half feet long. The blade was silver. The grip was a golden color with opals on the curve at the top.  
  
"Cool, dude!" Tabitha waved her sword around, nearly poking out Legolas's eye.  
  
"Owie!" Legolas grasped his eye.  
  
"OHMIGOSH!!!" Tabitha jumped up and tried to offer the blonde Elf medical assistance.  
  
Elrond: -_- Ummm.... Okaaaayyyy.... *turns to Kelly and regrets it immediatly* What weapons do you request, ma'am?  
  
Kelly thought for a moment, then another moment.... She seemed to be drifting. Whit poked her in the shoulder. No response. Poke. The shorter blonde snapped and slapped the taller one on the hand.   
  
Everyone else: O.o  
  
"Hold on! I'm thinking!" Kelly snapped at Whit, who simply blinked and looked at Gimli, who was shaking his head.  
  
Kelly finally came up with an answer. "A big ole sword and a poisonous spear!"  
  
Elrond was scared to give the spunky girl anything with the words "big" or "poisonous" in the name. He crossed his fingers behind his back, "We don't have any poisonous spears. Sorry."  
  
Kelly shrugged, "Oh well! I'll just take regular!" Her chibi face set in once again.  
  
Elrond nodded to the Elves, even though it went against his best insincts. An Elf brought the permenantly hyper teen her weapons of choice. The spear was about six feet tall with a wooden handle and silver tip. The sword was identical to Tabitha's, but instead of opals, there were pearls in the handle. "Preeetttiiifuuul...." But Kelly resited the urge to wave her sword around when she saw Tabitha still trying to help Legolas.  
  
Elornd turned to the last teenager, who was nearly his height. "What do you request, Whitney?"  
  
Whit smiled slightly. She'd thought about it for a while and finally decided, "Bow and arrow and...." she turned to the Elf. "A glaive."  
  
The last Elf walked in and handed the last teen her choices. The bow and arrow looked like Grisel's, but her quiver was purple and the strap was black. Her glaive was silver and on top of a purple circular-thing that connected it to a black staff. The whole staff/glaive stood at about seven feet.  
  
Elrond looked out at the thirteen companions. By now, Legolas had somewhow healed himself with that coolie Elf magic. "I call the thirteen of you the Fellowship of the Ring."  
  
"So that's where the name came from!" Grisel realized aloud.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The fellowship had set off early the next morning. They started to get aquainted with eachother. But for some, that was a really bad choice. Kelly was tagging after Gandalf at the front of the line... And bugging the heck out of him.  
  
"May I hold your staff?" she asked  
  
"No." He replied.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"No!"  
  
Kelly pulled at Gandalf's beard "Why don't you color your beard? It would look really cool if you dyed it kind of a yellowish-purple, y'kn-?"  
  
Gandalf snatched his beard from Kelly's hands and hit her on the head with his staff,   
"Grrr...." he sped ahead of the blonde, mumbling about people meddling in other's business.  
  
Kelly rushed after him, "It was just a curious question!" She ran after the wizard, amazed that such an old man could walk that fast.  
  
Whit was happily walking between Legolas and Frodo. "Leggy, do you realize you are super cool?"  
  
Legolas looked at her strangely, "Leggy? Interesting name, but it had a nice ring to it."  
  
Whit nodded. "It's what people call you here sometimes." She got out Grisel's computer and showed him FanFiction.net  
  
Frodo poked Whit on the hip, "Can I see it too?"  
  
"Sure!" Whit put him on her shoulders. He looked over her head and his eyes caught the story that Legolas was reading.   
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" they both yelled at the same time, falling over in faints. Whit took the computer in her hands and gasped.   
  
"I thought I put a slash blocker on this thing! Grrr!" She hit the side of the computer, closed it, and attempted to awaken the two unconcious beings, which turned out to be successful, by the way. Legolas and Frodo were in absolute shock, but they followed Whit in silence.  
  
Everyone stared after them... In shock. But then they just continued in their own chaty ways as usual.  
  
Gimli looked at Grisel's hair. "How did that happen?"  
  
"What, this?" She held up a blonde streak. Gimli nodded. "Well, I hung around these really blonde blondes too much and it just came up one day!"  
  
Gimli, Merry, Sam, and Pippin blinked.  
  
"I'm kidding!" Grisel said happily.  
  
"Ohhh... Well, it looks, like, so cool anyways!" Sam said.  
  
"Thanks," Grisel smiled.  
  
Tabitha wondered how Boromir and Aragorn could look so much alike. She stayed in the back to study this oddness further. But meanwhile, she just had to sketch the landscape!  
  
Boromir looked over Tabitha's shoulder. "Y'know, we could use that as a map. It's quite accurate."  
  
Tabitha smiled at him. "Really?"  
  
Boromir nodded, "Yes, after we d-destroy the R-Ring..." he trailed off and sniffled. He really did not want to destroy the Ring. It was just so shiny... And pretty!  
  
Tabitha got really ticked off. She thought Boromir was insulting her artistic abilities by crying after he had said she was talented.. "Well, if your going to lie to me, then you are just.... MEAN!" She whacked him on the head with her sketchpad and walked on ahead. "Men!"  
  
Aragorn sighed and dragged the sobbing Boromir behind him.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The thirteen had stopped for no reason whatsoever. All of them just sat on rocks and stared out at the landscape. Whit suddenly began digging through her backpack.  
  
"What are you looking for?" Aragorn asked.  
  
Whit poked her head out of her backpack. "FOUND IT!"  
  
Legolas stared at the small object. "What is it?"  
  
"It's a cell phone!"  
  
"A phone made from cells?" Sam asked.  
  
"No! Well, it might be, but I dun think so," Whit looked at the cell phone closely.  
  
"Don't do that, Whitney, you may hurt yourself," Grisel pointed out.  
  
"Yeah," Whit nodded and put her phone away.  
  
The group sat in silence again. Kelly got the brilliant idea to see howm any times she could poke the still sobbing Boromir on the shoulder until he noticed. Poke. Sob. Poke. Sob. Well, you get the picture. It took nearly forty pokes until the brown haired man gave the quirky blonde a glare.  
  
Kelly waved in response, "Hi! Merry Christmas!"  
  
Sam looked up at Tabitha, "Why does she keep saying that?"  
  
"She has this pure obsession with Christmas. It's partially unhealthy. In fact, I think she buys her Christmas presents a year in advance..."  
  
"Oh dear...." Sam looked at Kelly, who was still waving to Boromir.  
  
"Could you stop that?!" Boromir grabbed Kelly's waving hand.  
  
"But It's fun!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"O-kaaaaayyy..." Kelly's lower lip trembled.  
  
"Great, now you've done it," Grisel gave Boromir a glare.  
  
"What?"  
  
Grisel rolled her eyes, "You should not upset Kelly. It upsets the peace. Honestly..."  
  
Kelly's voice broke out. "JINGLE BELLS JINGLE BELLS JINGLE ALL THE WAAAAAY!"  
  
Grisel covered her ears and yelled at Boromir, "SEE WHAT I MEAN?!" Kelly finished her song.  
  
"Don't I sing so prettiful?"  
  
Everyone else: O.O  
"I don't...?" Kelly sniffled.  
  
"No, no! You sing beautifully!" Aragorn lied quickly.  
  
"Yay!" Kelly smiled.  
  
"Let's go along now," Gandalf stood up.  
  
Tabitha pointed waaaaaay off in the distance, "Whasat, peeps?"  
  
Legolas looked up, "It looks like a big crowd of birds."  
  
"Now what could that mean?" Gimli thought aloud.  
  
They all thought about it for about five minutes in dead silence.   
  
"It prolly ain't a good thing if they are coming here reeally fast and against the wind is it?" Kelly turned to Legolas.  
  
"Now if that ever happens, you know you're in a pickle!" Tabitha smiled.  
  
"I just remembered what those are! They are spies! HIDE!" Gandalf shreiked.  
  
"Birds can be spies?" Kelly though aloud as Grisel pulled her under a rock.  
  
After about five minutes, the birds had passed by. The fellowship got out from their hiding places... Save for Tabitha. Boromir had to drag the golden haired girl from under a bush.  
  
"But there was a cool rock under there! It was so perfectly rounded! It was stuck in the ground but I almost had it!" She sniffled.  
  
"We need to go over those mountains, there," Gandalf pointed to a mountain range about five miles away. Kelly walked up to him.  
  
"You mean that mountain range, there?" She pointed.  
  
"Yes, that mountain range, there."  
  
"I am getting more deja vu," Tabitha raised her eyebrows at Whit.  
  
"Me too. It's Cory," Whit pointed to Kelly. "And the random Amish dude." She motioned to Gandalf.  
  
"Amish...?" Sam asked, confused.  
  
"It's a long story. Let's go." Whit skipped off the cliff thing... Not minding to look at the ground.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After digging Whit out of the briar patch ("OW! EVIL EVIL! *smack, pow*") and dragging Kelly up the mountain ("Snow equals cold. Cold equals evil! Evil cold equals angry Kelly!" "AHHHHHHHH! Run for it!"), the fellowship had gotten to the top of a random mountain in the random mountain range.... Where, surprisingly, Kelly was not killing anyone yet. Whit and Grisel were chucking snowballs at the hobbits, who in turn threw a single, VERY large one at them.  
  
Whit (from under the snowball): Good shot, kids!  
  
Hobbits: ^_^  
  
Tabitha was talking happily to Legolas. "How do you not get tangles?"   
  
Legolas shrugged, "I dunno. Elf trait,"  
  
"Cool mo dee. I wish I were an Elf now... I'd be taller and have un-tangled hair!" She sniffled. "I'm over it now!" she skipped along again.  
  
Kelly on the other hand, was becoming grouchier (is that a word?) by the second. It did not help much when she tripped on a rock, knocking Frodo over.   
  
"Crap, crap, crap!" She clutched her foot and hit the rock with her spear. The Ring had flown from Frodo's neck (somehow) and landed in the snow. Boromir picked it up. He became mesmerized by the shininess....  
  
"It is so... Sparkley-ish..."  
  
"Boromir! Give the Ring back to shorty!" Aragorn glared at Boromir, who tossed it casually to Frodo, hitting him in the head. Kelly picked up the Ring and put it back around Frodo's neck.  
  
Kelly slowly shook her head, "That guy is just wrong! Wrong for taking this Ring... Why is it so important anywhoops?" She put her hands on her hips and gave Frodo a questioning look. He slowly explained it to her.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The Fellowship was now in the middle of a blizzard. Kelly's patience had snapped when the winds started. She kicked rocks along the way. Everyone tried their best to avoid them, but it really wasn't too easy when you are walking through (or in Elf-boy's case, on) five feet of snow on a two-foot wide trail. Aragorn, Whit, Tabitha, and Grisel each carried a hobbit on their shoulders.   
  
Kelly kicked another stone and wrapped her coat (which she had dug out of her backpack) tighter around her. Her ears perked up. She looked up only to see a big...pile... of ..snow....falling. It buried the fellowship. Whit's glaive broke through the fluffy white substance, followed by twelve hands. The group dug their ways out. Kelly growled. She whacked Gandalf on the head with Whit's staff.  
  
"I WANTED TO GO THROUGH THE MINES! BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" she deepened her voice a bit "'Hi, I am Gandalf, I am just a big idiot!'"  
  
Gandalf grabbed the black staff and ripped it out of the blonde's hands. He whacked her in return. "No, fool! The mines are creepy! And- slimy!"  
  
A chourus of "Eww"'s responded.   
  
"See? No one else wants to go!"  
  
"I do!" Whit, Gimli, Frodo, Pippin, and Merry responded.  
  
"Fools..." Gandalf muttered.  
  
"You do?!" Grisle and Tabitha stared at Whit in awe.  
  
Whit shrugged, "Darkness, spookiness... My theme!"  
  
"You are just creepy," Tabitha shook her head.  
  
"I know!" Whit smiled.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They reached the doorway of Moria. A message appeared on the dooorway. Grisel tried to read it.  
  
:"I am out to eat little hobbits for lunch. Be back soon."  
  
Gandalf raised his eyebrows at her, "No."  
  
"Oh, well, it was worth a shot." Grisel stepped back.  
  
Gandalf looked up at the door and started yelling in Elvish.  
  
*~*Three hours later...*~*  
  
Gandalf is still yelling at the doorway. Everyone else has sat down. Bill the pony has left them (*sniffle*). Grisel was telling everyone else about her shopping experience in Mexico, which was pretty interesting.  
  
"And I was like, 'No, way, dude!' and he was like, 'Well, maybe you will like this flavor. It is lemon berry melon-'"  
  
Gandalf was in front of the door whimpering. But still, the doors opened...  
  
Everyone blinked. The fellowship blinked. The monster under the water blinked. Gollum, who was stalking the group, blinked. Bill the pony, who was four miles away, blinked. Well, you get the picture.  
  
"Well, either sniffle or melon is the password," Whit muttered. At the word "melon" the doors closed.  
  
All: o.O  
  
Gandalf whacked Whit on the head. "You closed the doors, fool of a human girl!"  
  
Whit glared, "Okay! Melon!" The doors opened again and the Fellowship walked in.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Upon walking into Moria, Kelly and Tabitha noticed that the floor was scattered with bodies. They screeched and hugged eachother.  
  
"EVIL! MUMMIES! EW!"  
  
Grisel rolled her eyes, "C'mon, I have shown you two way worse pictures from Mexico of that museum."  
  
Whit's eyes kinda... I guess widened. "This would but such a cool place to study...."  
  
Pippin looked at Merry, "I knew there was something wrong about that kid.  
  
Legolas picked an arrow from a random dead dwarf. "Goblins!"  
  
Kelly's face got into it's thinking pose opposed to the scared pose, "I thought goblins only hung out in banks."  
  
"Kelly, we're in a different universe than that," Whit reminded her.  
  
"Oh yeah..."  
  
Everyone else rolled their eyes and continued walking. All of a sudden, this... big tentacle thing came and grabbed Frodo by the leg!  
  
The monster smiled, "Yummy hobbit!"  
  
The rest of the fellowship ran out and attempted to rescue Frodo. Kelly... Umm, tried talking to it. O.o  
  
"You let go of him!" She yelled. Losing her patience quickly, she ran up to it and bit it on a tentacle. The monster, never being bitten by a loony blonde before, yelled in pain and dropped the dark-haired hobbit. Aragorn caught him. They ran into Moria again. As they ran in, the entrance caved in.  
  
Kelly blinked and stared at the BIG pile of rocks. "Well, that was convenient."  
  
"No kidding," Grisel spoke breathlessly  
  
As the company made their way through the ancient Dwarf city, Legolas kept hearing stuff.   
  
"I heard orcs!" He squeaked.  
  
"Silly, orcs aren't coming for at least twenty more minutes!" Whit grinned  
  
Legolas frowned, "That's nice to know."  
  
Kelly's eyes drifted towards the side of the trail and something caught her attention, cauing her to stray from the group....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
About ten miutes later, the fellowship noticed Kelly was missing. They searched high and low for her, not noticing something creeping on the ceiling...  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
At about that same time, Kelly was crossing over a bridge. Below it, there was lots of firey lava. She snuck accross carelfully...  
  
"Crap to this whole killing the Ring thing!" She growled. All of a sudden, she heard a movement behind her. Her head looked back. Her eyes landed on an army of Orcs. About two-hundred. to be exact. Deciding it would be best to be nice rather than try to fend them off, Kelly waved to them and smiled.  
  
"Hi! Merry Christmas!"  
  
The Orcs screamed in terror and flung themselves into the firey pit of lavam deciding that would be better than to face off the psycho human girl that they had only heard about in terror stories.  
  
Kelly: O.O What was that about...? *pauses to think for about ten minutes while the Orcs all fling themselves into the pit* Oh well! ^_^ *shrugs and skips accross bridge*  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The fellowship was surrounded with thousands of orcs. Errr, at least, I think it was thousands....  
  
Legolas was crying because one of the orcs was playing with his hair and saying "Prettyyy...."  
  
Tabitha glared at the orc, "That is my friend's saying! Back off!" She hit the orc over the head with a book.  
  
The rest of the orcs were about to attack, when all of a sudden... THUD. Everyone looked towards the "firey pit of doom" place, only to see a small figure. The figure raised a hand and waved.  
  
"Hi! Merry Christmas!"  
  
The orcs all screamed in utter fear and scrambled up pillars. The figure put her hand back down and skipped towards the fellowship.  
  
"Hi, guys!" Kelly grinned.  
  
Boromir gaped at her and stuttered, "H-how? H-how, how?"  
  
"I dunno. Oh well!" Kelly shrugged and skipped along, the rest of the fellowship followed her.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They had reached a small room with a tomb-type of thing in the center. Apparently, Gimli's cousin was inside of it.   
  
"My cousin!" Gimli sniffled. Then he just broke out into total tears. Grisel leaned over and gave him a BIG HUG!  
  
"It's okay, Gimli. I'm sure your cousin is with you in your heart. You'll see him again one day."  
  
"Awww..." Everyone else said.  
  
"What? I'm just telling him the truth," Grisel raised her eyebrows at the group.  
  
Gandalf picked up a book that a skeleton was holding.  
  
"Ewww... Do you even know where that has been?!" Tabitha screeched. She sprayed some sanitizer all around the room causing everyone else to hack, cough, etc.  
  
"Ugh! You always did remind me too much of Jerry Seinfeld!" Whit yelled, covering her face.  
  
"Jerry who?" Merry asked from behind his hands.  
  
"Never mind," Whit muttered.  
  
Pippin and Kelly had gotten curious of a skeleton that was on the other side of the room, on a well.  
  
"I wonder what happens if I do this..." Kelly tripped on a chain and knocked Pippin towards the skeleton. He got a really good look at it... So he pushed it down (what else is a hobbit to do?). This made a loud BOOM CRASH CLANG! noise. Gandalf, along with everyone else, glared at the two.  
  
"You fools!" Gandalf obviously thought Kelly had had a hand in this.   
  
"But I didn't! I just tripped!" She said.  
  
"Sure!" Gandalf growled.  
  
"She really didn't!" Sam yelled.  
  
A loud THUD THUD sounded. Boromir walked out to investigate, nearly getting pierced with an arrow.  
  
"They have a cave troll..." he said in that really tight way. Yeah, you know what I mean.  
  
The group got to work trying to block off the door by jamming it. Kelly, being the genius she is, walked over to the door, got out her duct tape, and got to work.  
  
"What is that...?" Legolas got out an arrow and motioned to the duct-taped door handle.  
  
"That, my friend, is the best creation... EVER! BWHAHAHA!" Kelly drew her sword and held her spear in the other hand. Tabitha followed, drawing out the sword but leaving the hatchet in her pack. Grisel drew an arrow and fit it to the bow. Whit stood with her staff extended, not wanting to use the bow and arrows quite yet. An orc broke through an area of the door near the handles. Legolas shot an arrow into the foul creature, causing it to sceech in pain.   
  
The rest of the orc broke through the door with ease ("Well, I guess duct tape ain't all it's cracked up to be." Kelly muttered) and the battle began. The fellowship took out the orcs like an author could take out a keyboard. But then came the real challenge: The troll.  
  
Legolas tried to take it out all by himself by shooting an arrow into it's head. Kelly shook her head, "Well, that was really smart, pointy-eared prince!"  
  
"Aw, be quiet!" Legolas glared and ran for it.  
  
Tabitha slashed at the troll. She cut a good hunk of it's leg out (that was all she could reach O.o). The troll swung it's weapon at her, but she dodged it and ducked behind a pillar.  
  
Kelly tried to take him on next. She just lunged right for the heart. She would have been successful... If it weren't for a rock that the troll held up. Kelly dodged it and landed on her feet. She was really, as she would say, POed by now. She grabbed Grisel's axe from her and slammed the blade down.and sliced through troll toes. It screeched in agony and it's weapon landed on the ground, nearly hitting Kelly. She dodged it and hid with Tabitha behind the pillar.  
  
The troll was really annoyed with these human girls now, so her went for the nearest one he could find: Grisel. She was ready for him though. She had picked up Kelly's spear that had been left on the ground, and went straight for the towering gray beast. She somehow got it higher than Kelly had gotten him, in the hip. But the troll lashed out at her, too. Grisel followed Tabitha and Kelly to the pillar.  
  
The troll was really, really ticked now. He went after Frodo. They played a game of hide-and-seek. And, well, Frodo lost. The troll swung down at him, but Aragorn blocked him off. Aragorn fell unconscious to the floor. Frodo got really upset at this. But, then, the troll speared him. Frodo fell to the floor, apparently dead. Merry, Pippin and Sam all lunged at the troll and landed on his back. But the troll threw them off.   
  
He went after the last human girl, now. But Whit was ready. The troll had ticked off the wrong girl. Trolly lunged at Whit with his hand, but her glaive broke the motion. He tried again, but to no avail. Whit's glaive sliced through the air, cutting through the troll's bumpy skin with each movement. Black blood exuded from his wounds and dripped down, splattering with each cut. But, finally, Whit's arms gave out and she ran behind the pillar to join her friends. Upon looking at the glaive, one could tell she had done battle. Blood was dripping from the sharp point. Tabitha and Kelly slid away from Whit's glaive, nearly sitting on Grisel.   
  
"Back off, you two!" she muttered, pushing the blondes away.  
  
"But that blood is icky!" Tabitha whimpered.  
  
They heard a loud screech and then a thud. The foursome peeked around the edges of the pillar to see that Legolas had gotten the troll in his neck, obviously piercing a major vein.   
Aragorn went over to Frodo. It turned out that the hobbit had put on a special light armor that Bilbo had given him. He was not harmed. The entire fellowship exited the room and ran as quickly as possible... Unaware of the dangers up ahead.... Or were they?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
The company reached the "firey pit" again. Kelly looked over the ledge, only to see the skeltons of the orcs she had scared floating in the bubbling claret lava. She turned from it and shook her head.  
  
"Am I really that scary?" She asked Aragorn. "That those Orcs would actually commit suicide rather than talk to me?"  
  
Aragorn's eyes widened. "No! Of course not..."  
  
"You lie!" Tabitha accused, extending her right index fingernail of death and pointing it to Aragorn's neck like a sword.  
  
"Hehe...." if he were an Anime character, he'd have had a sweatdrop on his head by now. Deciding that he could not escape the wrath of two rabid teens if he kept talking, Aragorn walked on ahead.  
  
The group reached a BIG gap in the bridge they were crossing. Kelly grumbled under her breath.   
  
Legolas jumped across the gape with ease. Kelly raised her eyebrows, "A bit agilitic, ne?"  
  
Legolas rolled his eyes and held out a hand. Kelly and Tabitha jumped at the same time, knocking the Elf backwards.  
  
"Ow, ow ow..." the three all muttered at once. They stood up again and brushed themselves off. Boromir "tossed" Sam, Merry, and Pippin across. Then he tried it with Gimli and was responded by, "Nobody tosses a dwarf!"  
  
Whit rolled her eyes, "Egomaniac..." Gimli "tossed" himself... but barely made it. Legolas reached out and grabbed him by the beard. Kelly doubled up in laughter, "Do you wish you had been tossed now, Dwarf?"  
  
Gimli glared at her, "Shuddup...."  
  
Grisel sorta... "walked" off with her eyes closed.... But she made it!   
  
Everyone else: O.o What the Fuzzy?  
  
Grisel blinked. "What?" She turned to everyone with a confused look on her face.  
  
Whit grinned and got out a plank from her backpack. She waved for Boromir and Gandalf to walk across. They looked at her then walked across. Whit followed. Aragorn and Frodo walked onto it, but then the side they came from began to crumble... The two stepped off the plank just in time. An area near the base broke off, causing that side to tilt. Frodo and Aragorn struggled to keep their balance. Finally, it slammed into the side that the rest of the group was already on. Frodo fell into Kelly, but she caught him.  
  
"That looked fun!" the blonde giggled. Frodo ignored her. The company took off and were soon persued by a Barlog. They crossed another bridge... Save for Gandalf. Kelly and Grisel were looking frantically for their clarinet and flute.  
  
Gandalf turned to the Barlog and slammed his staff down. The Barlog whimpered and backed away... Slipping on Grisel's clarinet in the process. It fell into the abyss (cool word) and cried all the way to the bottom. Gandalf smiled to himself and proceeded to cross the bridge. The problem was... He never made it. Slipping on Kelly's flute, he too fell into the abyss, yelling all the way to the bottom...  
  
The instruments both flew into the air and landed in front of their owner's feet. Both oblivious that anyone had perished picked up their instruments and hugged them. Everyone else was gaping at what they had just seen...  
  
Whit stuttered, "Gandalf... Dead... Flute!!"  
  
"Flute!" Kelly grinned and held her instrument up.  
  
Frodo lost it and whacked Kelly over the head with a salmon in Whit's backpack, "NO!! ONE OF MY MENTORS DIED BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR PSYCHO FLUTE, YOU DITZ!"  
  
"Huh? He did? Oh, sorry, kid." Kelly patted Frodo on his head.  
  
Frodo growled and his eyes went REALLY freaky! Even freakier than usual! Everyone else backed away in fear. Hey, you would too if a psycho hobbit with creepy eyes was ticked with you...  
  
"HE DIED JUST TWO MINUTES AGO, YOU [censored]!!!!!!"  
  
Whit gasped. "FRODO BAGGINS! Watch your language!"  
  
"ENOUGH WITH THIS POINTLESS YELLING!" Aragorn roared.   
  
"Eeep..." Legolas and Grisel squeaked.  
  
"Now, let's go!" Aragorn yelled.  
  
The remnants of the fellowship followed him outside.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. The rest of FotR Kelly's Duct Tape Obses...

They entered a forest. Frodo was sending death glares to Kelly, who was totally oblivious to the situation.   
  
"There is an elven witch who lives here..." Gimli muttered. Legolas glared back.   
  
"I am offended."  
  
"Whatever..."  
  
Whit raised her eyebrows. "Whatever? What kind of stupid response is that?" She was responded by sharp metal piercing her neck. "Ow..." She looked up into the face of an Elf.  
  
Kelly smiled at the Elves all around her, "Merry Christmas!"  
  
All: O.o  
  
Aragorn explained to the Elves why they were there and so they led the group to Lothrien....  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Upon reaching the Elven city, Kelly could not help but notice that everything was up in the trees. The Elves led them to their accommodations. Yes, trees. Night fell and everyone within the woods fell asleep. Save for Whit.   
  
She got out her stereo and popped in her CSI soundtrack. The music came out in a loud burst and Whit sang along.  
  
"Whoooo are youuu? Whoooo whoo whoo whoo? Whoooo a-"  
  
The Elf in the tree across was extremely ticked off, therefore he shot an arrow into Whit's stereo. "Shut up, you idiotic child!"  
  
"I'm not idiotic! I have an IQ of... Wait, I don't know my IQ. But I know it must be high, so there!" She was responded by an arrow grazing her ear. "That was mean."  
  
Grisel had woken up by now and chucked her clarinet case at the tree across, knocking the rude Elf unconscious. "C'mon. Let's go to sleep." And they did so.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Galadriel, a very important Elf, had called the Fellowship to speak with her. They all walked up and Kelly gasped.  
  
"I want hair like that! EXACTLY!"   
  
"I thought you wanted Arwen's hair," Aragorn whispered.  
  
"No way. She kissed you, so forget it. The hair has some affect on her brain...." Aragorn whacked Kelly over the head. "Ow..."  
  
"Welcome, it seems you are missing one... Where is Gandalf?"  
  
"She killed him," Frodo pointed to Kelly.  
  
"I did not! Mah flute did! There is a difference! So there!"  
  
"I did not think you would kill him anyway, Miss Kelly," Sam whispered.  
  
"Thank goodness one of you has a brain," Kelly muttered.  
  
"SILENCE!" Galadriel spoke in a freakishly deep voice. "I- I mean, please. Be quiet... Heh."  
  
"Suuuure...." Grisel grinned evilly.  
  
Galadriel laughed nervously again. Her serv- I mean followers all gave her odd looks. Galdadriel cleared her throat and continued speaking.   
  
Kelly and Tabitha drifted off in the middle of Galdriel's unbelievably long speech andecided to have fun with duct tape. Kelly fished the silver roll from her backpack and wrapped it around a random tree. Legolas whacked her on the head with a fish for doing that to the beloved trees. Kelly growled and hit him back... Only with a CD case. This soon turned into a "slap fight" and Galdriel still did not notice. Tabitha stared at her friend and the Elf in wonder, then at Galadriel, back and forth.... She finally grew dizzy, yawned, sat down, and laid her head on what seemed to be a very soft rock.  
  
"And that is why the power plants of Middle-earth should die!" Galadreil finished up.   
  
She looked around and noticed everyone had fallen asleep, even her husband. Galadriel growled in the back of her throat. Being the extremely ticked off queen she was, Galadriel was in desperate need of revenge. She stared around. The human men? No, too stupid. The human girls? No, no, too loud and chaotic. She finally reached the Ringbearer. He was perfect! Hobbits did spook easily, according to her "10000 Fun Ways To Scare Small Mammals and Have Fun Doing It!" book. She walked away from the scene, cackling evilly and glowing and odd green color....  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Frodo had wandered off, obviously looking for mushrooms. Whit had found her portable DVD player and had begun playing her "A Walk To Remember" DVD. Grisel and Tabitha were watching over her shoulder.  
  
"Oooh... Shane be so fiiiiine!"  
  
"Use proper English Tabitha. And he is U-G-L-Y!" said Grisel.  
  
"Why you- HOW DARE YOU INSULT SHANE WEST!?"  
  
"Eeep..." Grisel took off.  
  
"Yeah, 'Eeep' yeh creepy kid! GET BACK HERE!" Tabitha followed Grisel in hot pursuit.  
  
Whit was still enthralled by her movie.  
  
"It is all so sad! WAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Legolas, Aragorn, and Boromir all stared at her wide-eyed.  
  
"Uh, what is so sad, child?"  
  
"This! This love is so tragic! JAMIE IS DYING AND LANDON LOVES HER! WAAAAAH!" Whit put the DVD back a few scenes and handed it to Boromir. He, Aragorn, and Legolas all watched the DVD.   
  
"It is sad. Those poor children. Wait, how can teenagers know love from hormones?" Aragorn looked confused. Legolas and Bormir shrugged.  
  
"What is your opinion, Gimli?" Boromir asked. No response. "Gimli?" He turned around and saw Gimli staring at a picture of Galadriel he had found.  
  
"Ohhh noooo...." The Humans and Elf said slowly.  
  
"It's attack of the rabid fandwarf!" Whit's eyes grew wide in horror  
  
A loud "DUN DUN DUN" played in the distance, causing all of them to jump.  
  
"AGH! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Aragorn screeched in terror.  
  
"You realize your scream is actually higher than mine?" Whit rubbed her ear. "Great Fuzzy. You gots lungs."  
  
"Thank you. But what WAS THAT?"  
  
"I dunno...." Whit looked around and found her answer. She had left her CD player on.  
  
"Well what dya know! Mah CD player! Ooh... Beethoven!" Whit banged her head, causing her to look like some freaky 80's punkster. The Elf and Men backed away from her slowly.  
  
A few meters away, Kelly, in her absolute boredom had decided that spelling her name out in duct tape would be a nice activity. Boy, was she wrong.  
  
(Author Kelly: But I'm never wrong!  
  
Author Whit: You are in this.)  
  
"[censored] TAPE!" Kelly chucked the duct tape in the air, accidentally hitting Pippin in the head.  
  
"Oopsies..."  
  
Pippin sauntered over, carrying the duct tape and rubbing his head. "Ooopsies is right, you homicidal girl!"  
  
Kelly, already ticked off, stood up and stared Pippin down. "Wanna do something about it?"  
  
Pippin stood on his tip-toes. "Yeah!"  
  
"Bring it on, shorty!"  
  
"Why you-" Pippin kicked Kelly in the shin.  
  
"Owa!" Kelly put tape over Pippin's mouth.  
  
The other Humans, Elf, and Hobbits present watched the fight, each nibbling on a bowl of popcorn that had appeared magically.  
  
"So, who do ye think is gonna win?" Merry looked to Legolas.  
  
"I have my money on the teen. She has duct tape, man!"  
  
"Good point," Merry nodded.  
  
The small crowd shrugged and continued to watch, "Oooh"-ing and 'Ahhh"-in in the correct places, of course.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
About ten meters away, Tabitha had given up chasing Grisel. She sighed and sat down on the ground. A rest was needed before heading back.   
  
Tabitha noticed Frodo walking oddly with a perplexed look on his face.  
  
"Hey, Frodo dude. What's de matter?"  
  
"Galadriel... Freaked me out... Turned green...."  
  
"She hurled on you?"  
  
"No, no. She tried to take this," Frodo held up the Ring. Tabitha's breath caught in her throat. The Ring seemed to be drawing her, calling to her....  
  
"No!"  
  
"What?" Frodo looked up at her.  
  
"Oh, nothing. You should put that Ring up and keep it safe, kiddo."  
  
"Wait, you are younger than me!"  
  
"Point well taken." Tabitha smiled, gave Frodo a motherly hug, and set off with him to the camp.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A few days later, the Fellowship took off in four boats.   
  
Kelly glanced over to Frodo. "Why does HE get all the really cool junk? He got the Ring, and that crystal thingy ma bob. It's no fair." She frowned. Her attention was soon caught by towering statues.  
  
"DUDE!" Tabitha yelled out from a different boat. Her voice echoed like mad. Legolas took out some of his very own duct tape (heh, he and Kelly have something in common) and put it over Tabitha's mouth, causing her eyes to go wide.  
  
"Mmmroof!"  
  
"I know. You can't talk, " Legolas smiled to himself. Grisel and Boromir both gave him a high five from the next boat. Tabitha glared.  
  
The company decided to stop for whatever reason and all got out and stepped onto land.  
  
Whit sat on the ground and rocked a bit.  
  
"Mesa still feels like mesa on water..."  
  
"AGH! SHE SOUNDS LIKE JAR-JAR WITHOUT AN ACCENT!" Kelly screamed.  
  
"Oh, shuddup, Kelly. By the way, who is Jar-Jar?" Sam looked confused.  
  
"Uh, well..." Kelly dug through Whit's backpack and finally found her "Essential Guide to Star Wars Characters" book. She pointed to a picture of Jar Jar Binks and Sam screamed like a girl.  
  
"THAT IS SO UGLY!"  
  
"I know. He needs come mascara, maybe some blu--"  
  
"What the heck are those?" Aragorn asked.  
  
Kelly dug through her own backpack and fished out pink blush and a tube of black mascara. Then, she got an evil idea.  
  
"Want me to show you what they do?  
  
Aragorn shrugged. "Sure, why not." He sat on a rock and Kelly went to work....  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Across the forest, Frodo was looking for firewood. Suddenly, he heard a loud scream and chuckled to himself. Kelly had obviously pulled her "Sure, let's play with mascara and blush" trick again. Frodo suddenly heard a twig snap from behind him. He flipped around and saw Boromir standing behind him.  
  
"Hey, Boromir."  
  
Boromir did not respond. Instead, he was staring right at Frodo's neck. Frodo raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Y'know, if I did not know any better, I'd swear you're a vampire."  
  
"I am not searching for blood... I am searching for that Ring in all it's lovely shininess....."  
  
'Well, you can't have it! I must destroy it! I get the fun out of doing that and you can't take it away from me! So nyah!" Frodo stuck out his tongue.  
  
"Why you little-" Boromir lunged for Frodo, but before he reached him, the Hobbit disappeared.  
  
"I can see your mind, Frodo!" Boromir heard the hobbit mutter a curse from behind him. Then he felt a kick in his back. "OW! DARNED HOBBIT! YOU WILL REGRET IT!"  
  
Frodo did not care. He ran up stairs and found he had reached what looked like an old temple. He gasped for air then heard a movement behind him. He flipped around and met Aragorn's kind eyes... Which were outlined with black.  
  
"Frodo, what's wrong?"  
  
"I should ask you the same."  
  
"Oh, that cursed girl." Aragorn attempted to wipe the mascara from his eyelashes and was unsuccessful, just like the other hundred times. "I'm looking for her right now. Ran off after she finished with the makeup."  
  
"Oh, well, Boromir tried to take m- I mean the Ring."  
  
"He did WHAT?!"  
  
"Now, I know you said you would protect me no matter what, but after that I must ask this: Can you protect me from yourself?"  
  
Aragorn eyed him strangely. "I'm not sure..."  
  
"Well, then. Aragorn, I have made a decision: I am going to Mordor by myself to destroy it. No needing you all getting killed on my behalf."  
  
"You're a brave soul, Frodo Baggins." Aragorn gave his friend and hug. "I wish you luck.  
Well, here," Aragorn held out a small purple box outlined with green. It had a rainbow, four-leaf-clover and the word "Lucky!" on the top. "Whit gave it to me in Lothrien. She said for me to keep it for luck when I had to 'head the tribe,' whatever that means."  
  
Frodo smiled, "Thank you, for everything, Aragorn. I hope we meet again. Good- bye."  
  
"Good-bye, young Hobbit." Aragorn watched as his young friend set off down the hill, tucking the box into his pocket. His attention shifted as he noticed out of the corner of his eye a very large army of Orcs...  
  
~****~  
A couple hundred yards away, Kelly's odd sixth sense was kicking in. She sniffed the air. Tabitha gave her an odd look.  
  
"What is it, Kelly?"  
  
"Orcs... They hate me! AGH!" Kelly drew her sword (and her duct tape) and ran to where her nose was telling her. Everyone else followed. Everyone, that is, besides Grisel and Sam. They were being drawn to a different place. When their hearts were content with their location, Grisel noticed what had drawn her. Frodo was pushing a boat out into the river. Sam waded out.  
  
"Master Frodo! I must come with you!"  
  
"Sam! No! You can't swim!"  
  
That was obvious to Grisel, though. Sam sank beneath the surface of the water.  
  
"SAM!" Frodo yelled out. Grisel decided that Frodo prolly could not swim either, so she dove in and brought Sam to the surface. Frodo reached out and grabbed Sam, then Grisel dragged herself into the boat.  
  
"Good grief, that water is so frickin' cold!" she shuddered and then noticed her backpack was floating out to the boat above the water.  
  
"What the-?" Frodo and Sam asked in unison.  
  
"This is the world's most loyal backpack!" Grisel beamed.  
  
"No, really..." Sam picked up a paddle and began rowing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"HAYA!" Kelly pounded random Orc with her spear.  
  
"YOU LIKE THIS?!" Tabitha sliced and diced any enemy with her sword.  
  
"WOOT!" Whit sliced and whacked with her glaive.  
  
Boromir (who had come to the rescue), Gimli, Legolas, Pippin, and Merry were kicking Orc booty their owns ways, also. Aragorn was nowhere to be seen.  
  
"Where the heck is he?" Kelly yelled.  
  
~** Aragorn: *trying to get the makeup off of his face**~  
  
"Ohhh..." Kelly nodded and she whacked another Orc. Out of the corner of her eye, Kelly noticed that this one super ugly one was shooting arrows into Boromir!  
  
"Hey, you! That is my friend! Haaaayaaaaaaa!" Kelly charged but was stopped by two Orcs, who picked her up right off of her feet.  
  
"WHAT THE?! LET GO OF ME, YOU FIENDS! I HAVE RABIES!!!" Kelly bit both Orcs on their necks. They did not even howl.  
  
"HOW?!!?!?!?" She tried again, and again, and agaaaainn....  
  
Whit noticed Kelly's screams and ran after the Orcs. "YOU LET GO OF HER!" Whit reared back to strike the Orcs, but she was stopped by an arrow striking her in the shoulder. Whir screamed in pain and gripped her shoulder, pulling the arrow out. She looked at it and realized that it was not an Orc arrow, but rather...  
  
"LEGOLAS GREENLEAF! AGH!" Whit stood again, still gripping her shoulder, she noticed that an Orc had also taken Tabitha.   
  
Whit struggled to stand. She sighed in defeat and could only stare hopelessly as her friends tried to get from the grips of the enemy, Tabitha clawing with her nails and Kelly biting. She turned from the scene, only to see another even sadder one. Boromir had fallen and his friend; the one who was like his brother, was at his side up to the end. Whit got an odd thought of Boromir saying "You will train Anakin... He is the Chosen One...." She shook her head and sniffled sadly as Aragorn said good-bye to his friend. He leaned over and kissed his friend on the forehead. Whit smiled sadly and struggled to stand, but she did. Using her glaive as a walking stick, she walked over to Legolas and Gimli as they too watched the saddening scene.  
  
~***~***  
Later that day, the foursome sent Boromir down the waterfall. Once again, must be symbolic or somethin'.   
  
"So, uh, what are we gonna do?" Gimli asked.  
  
Aragorn shrugged. Then, he got a brilliant idea "How 'bout we go try to find Pippin, Merry, Tabby, and Kelly?"  
  
"Oh, cool, sure!" were the responses. The foursome set off into the forest.  
~***~***~  
A few days later, Frodo, Grisel, and Sam reached a mountain overlooking what Grisel assumed to be Mordor. She got a sudden urge and stood on top of a rock.  
  
"I'M THE QUEEN OF THE WOOOOOOOORLD!" she yelled... But then she tripped and fell into Frodo and Sam.  
  
"Ow," the three said together.  
  
*~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~  
So, did you like?   
  
What will Whit, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli face besides a rabid teen , The Princess of  
the Deadly Fingernails, and the White Lady of Rohan?  
  
Will Grisel, Frodo, and Sam destroy the Ring or just go insane trying? Also, who is that  
gray, short, bald thing following them?   
  
Will Kelly, Tabitha, Pippin, and Merry escape the Orcs by means of driving them insane or  
by methods such as beating, biting, and scratching? 


	3. Deleted Scenes One and Two!

Whit had made herself a small bed on the floor and fallen into a deep sleep. Her thoughts  
  
drifted back home, where three of her other friends, Hannah, Joanna, and Anna were....  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*  
  
For some reason, Anna was allowed to drive. A mustang, at that! She was driving Joanna  
  
and Hannah to choir practice, and they were late as it is.  
  
Hannah: Anna, please don't be too insane. I need to be alive to sing. *buckles seatbelt*  
  
Joanna: Go fast, Anna banna! VROOM VROOM!   
  
Anna: *steps on accelerator and joins in the "Vrrooming"*  
  
Hannah: Oh dear.  
  
Anna took off down the street. After a few minutes, they had reached town. Suddenly,  
  
Joanna stopped her old boyfriend, Celsto, walking on the street. Anger boiling up inside of  
  
her, she grabbed the steering wheel from Anna and drove towards the boy. Hannah's hand  
  
grabbed the wheel from Joanna.  
  
Hannah: Joanna, no! No killing old boyfriends while I am in the car!  
  
Joanna: But it's fun!  
  
Hannah: Please, no...  
  
Joanna: Ugh, okaay...  
  
A few minutes later, Anna spots an enemy, who I will not name here. Laughing evilly, she  
  
drives onto the sidewalk.  
  
Hannah: O.O *grabs wheel from Anna and drives all the way to practice from behind her*  
  
I am never riding with you two again! *runs into building  
  
Anna: *blinks* What was that about?  
  
Joanna: I dunno. It's the way we always drive! Nothing new!  
  
The two walk into the building, also.  
  
**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~*  
  
"We're getting presents?" Kelly asked happily.  
  
"That's what I heard," Tabitha replied. "I hope I get those three N*Sync bobbleheads I  
  
don't have."  
  
"And I hope you don't, yeh rabid fangirl," Grisel hit Tabitha over the head.  
  
"Hey, shut up! Leave me alone about that!" Tabitha pretended to go into hysterics.  
  
"You are the worst actress." Whit rolled her eyes and walked to the original fellowship  
  
members.  
  
"Am not!" Tabitha yelled running after her. "You forgot about J. Lo!"  
  
Grisel snickerd evilly "The crying! Bwahahaha! She can't even cry or-!" A tree limb hit  
  
her in the face and she burst into tears. "It bloody hit me! Why do the trees always ccme  
  
after lil'ol' me?!"  
  
"You offended them."  
  
"Shut UP, Legolas!" Grisel snapped at him. "You know, people wonder about guys who  
  
spend more time on their hair than their friends who are girls..."  
  
Legolas looked at her and muttered Elvish curses.  
  
"We're here, guys. So stop with all of the sexual tension." Kelly spoke in a voice as if she  
  
were telling two todddlers to be quiet.  
  
Legolas and Grisel both promptly fell over.  
  
"Hello, fellowship." Galadriel spoke.  
  
Well, as it went, Galadriel gave each member a cloak which was fastened with a pretty  
  
green leaf and a special gift. Kelly recieved a copy of "Scare Small Mammals Have Fun  
  
While Doing It!" and Tabitha got a bottle of Elvish perfume. Grisel was the reciever of a  
  
muzzle ("Just in case those three get out of hand.")Whit was presented a blank journal and  
  
a quill.   
  
They all thanked the Elven RingBearer (*cough*WITCH!*cough* Gettoutta 'ere Gimli!)  
  
and were on their way down the loverly river!  
  
***  
  
Notes on both scenes...  
  
D.S. 1: Okay, this is just basically a shout-out to those three friends! Hey guys! It has  
  
nothing to do with any sort of plot (Plot? What plot...?)  
  
D.S.2: This is an original scene from the movie. I loved it in the extras, so I just had to kill  
  
it with my own twist! No, no...Grisel is not in love with Lego in real life! She isn't a  
  
bloody Mary-Sue! 


	4. The Two Really Really Tall Towers Chapte...

"Ugh," Grisel groaned. "My feet hurt so freakin' bad! I'm hungry too." She sniffled.  
  
"What do we have to eat, shorty?" She turned to Sam and started singing 50 Cent's "In Da Club" below her breath. "Go shorty, it's yo' birthday, we're gonna party like it's yo' birthday..."  
  
Sam glared. "I'm not short. We have lembas bread," he threw her a wafer wrapped in  
  
leaves. "Leave me alone."  
  
Grisel shrugged, "Meh, okay." She unwrapped the bread and sniffed it. Waaaay too plain! So she took a bottle of hot sauce out of her purse, poured it on, and took a bite. Much better!  
  
All of a sudden, who would appear in a poof of black, pink, and blue smoke but Whit,  
  
Kelly, and Tabitha!  
  
"Hey, guys! Wait -- What the heck are you doing here?" Grisel stared with confusion.  
  
"Right, Sam?"  
  
Sam was frozen with his eyes wide open.  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"He can't hear you. The same thing happened with Merry, Pippin, and the zillion orcs."  
  
Kelly said.  
  
"Oh." Grisel nodded.  
  
Silence.  
  
"So, uh, what was the point of you dragging everyone here, Whit?" Tabitha asked.  
  
"Well, have you ever noticed that in sequels the people never wear the same clothes as  
  
the original?"   
  
"That's not entirely true," Kelly countered. "There was that one mo-"  
  
"Quiet you! You're ruining my point. Plus, this was your request. You said it would be  
  
yucky to wear the same clothes all throughout the story."  
  
"Oh, you're right. I did. Go ahead then."  
  
"Mmkay. To start off with, Tab-chan. You will now be wearing a pink tank top. Ew,  
  
pink-."  
  
"Hey," Tab glared.  
  
"-Denim capris, and white tennis shoes." The clothes Tab had on were replaced with  
  
them.  
  
"Ew, denim," Kelly said.  
  
"That doesn't have the same effect," Grisel looked pensive.  
  
"Aw. Well, what am I gonna wear? Huh, huh?" Kelly bounced up and down.  
  
"Calm down chibi princess! I'm getting to you! A black T-shirt, white jeans, and black  
  
hiking boots." They appeared on Kelly.  
  
"I feel suddenly.. Gothic." She looked down at her shirt.  
  
"Uh, no. Grissy! Okay, how about a baby blue jacket, a white turtleneck, navy pants, and blue and white striped tennis shoes!"  
  
Grisel looked down at her outfit. "Why?"  
  
"You do see where you're going, right?" Whit pointed out the high mountains.  
  
"Ohh..."  
  
"And me. Jeans, denim jacket, black tennis shoes, and a black turtleneck ... thing." Whit's clothes appeared.  
  
"You'll never change, Whit," said Grisel.  
  
"And that's why you all love me so much! Well, let's leave Grisel with her hobbit boys!  
  
Ciao for now, homie girl!" The three disappeared, leaving Grisel in a state of shock. Sam  
  
and Frodo became unfrozen and looked her up and down.  
  
"Intr'stin' clothing, Miss Grisel," Sam said.  
  
"Mwhat?" Sam's expression changed. He suddenly pulled Frodo and Grisel to the  
  
ground.  
  
"Is it him again?" Frodo asked Sam.  
  
"Huh?!" Grisel looked between them. I can't help but think that some of those slash  
  
bunnies were right -- Okay. Ew. Don't go there! She shook her head.  
  
"Yes, it's Gollum. When's he going to give up and leave us alone?!"   
  
"What did he do to us?"  
  
"He-he's stalking us!" Frodo replied.  
  
"Oooh... Like we're celebrities or something? I have a stalker! I feel so special!"   
  
Frodo and Sam stared at her blankly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, Miss Grisel." Sam shook his head.  
  
Later that night, a strange creature was crawling towards the three of them. Can you  
  
guess who it was? C'mon anyone? Yes! It was.... Gollum!  
  
"They stoles it from usss.... Our preciousss... We hates them!" He reached out towards  
  
Frodo, but a hand stopped him. He looked up into a pair of brown eyes  
  
"Hullo, Poppit. Whoa! Wait. That sounded totally freaky!" Grisel grinned to herself.  
  
"Hello Poppit! Hallo Poppit! 'Allo Poppit!" She shrieked with giggles.  
  
"Um, hewwow," Gollum tapped his wrist impatiently. "I have a facial in an hour."  
  
"Oh, right. Hiyah!" Grisel karate chopped him in the chest. By this time, of course, Frodo and Sam were awake. Sam was taken back by Gollum and nearly strangled. Frodo pointed his sword towards Gollum's neck.  
  
"This is Sting. You've seen him before, haven't you?"  
  
Observing the sword, Grisel noticed something. "But, it doesn't look anything like  
  
Sting!"  
  
"What?" Sam struggled in Gollum's grip to look at her.  
  
"Yeah. Sting's a singer. He's not really one of my favorites, but he's okay."  
  
"Um, right. Well!" Frodo turned back to Gollum. "Release Sam or I'll slit your throat!"  
  
As soon as Gollum released Sam, however, he made a run for it. A rope lassoed his neck. Grisel held up a sign that read 10.  
  
"It burnssss us!"  
  
The next morning, things weren't going much better.  
  
"It still burnssss us!"  
  
"Aw, shut up!" Sam tugged on the rope again.  
  
"You're bloody choking him!" Grisel yelled. She was still moody. And Sam had poured  
  
out a lot of her hot sauce the night before.  
  
"He's the one who poured it out!" Sam nodded towards Gollum, who was writhing on the  
  
ground in pain.  
  
"Oh give it a rest Samantha!" Gollum and Frodo both 'Oooh'ed "You've had it in for  
  
Gollum this whole time!"  
  
Gollum started crying again. It really did make him look pathetic.  
  
"Pleasse. Just let us die!"  
  
"Oh no no..." Grisel ran over and hugged him. "You're far to important in the story line.  
  
We can't let you die yet."  
  
"You will lead us to the Black Gate, Gollum?"  
  
Gollum nodded and Grisel took the noose from around his neck. The group treaded  
  
onward.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Uruk-hai and orcs walked through a small gorge. Four of them had prisoners on their backs. Two of those prisoners were singing at the top of their lungs.  
  
"Ohhhhhh! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves,  
  
everybody's nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it  
  
goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's  
  
nerves. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a  
  
song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves. I know a  
  
song that gets on everybody's nerves and this is how it goes. I know a song tha--"  
  
"SHUT UP!" Pippin and Merry shouted at Kelly and Tab.  
  
"Okay then. Hm. Oooh, wait, Tabbers!"  
  
"What, Kelly?"   
  
Kelly grinned. It was a crazed grin, full of too many days on the smelly orc's back and  
  
too few days that she'd been able to rest. "This is the song that never ends," Tab joined  
  
in. "Yes it goes on and on my friends!"  
  
~~~~  
  
"Oh my gosh!" Legolas gripped his ears. "That horrible horrible noise! Why was I  
  
blessed with such great hearing??"  
  
"I hear them too." Aragorn followed suit and also covered his ears.  
  
"You what?!" Whit yelled loudly.  
  
"You're blessed with extremely bad hearing. Please give us bad hearing too."  
  
Whit scrunched up her nose, "Whaaaat?!"   
  
Legolas sighed, "Never mind. It must be the headphones." He picked up Whit's  
  
headphones which were lying on the ground. The volume was already turned up all the  
  
way. Upon pressing the button with the little arrow on it, Legolas's pointy ears were  
  
filled with the following lyrics:  
  
"Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
  
So I don't know what's real and what's not  
  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
  
IIII'M dying agaaain  
  
I'M GOING UNDEEEER!"  
  
Legolas immediatly took the headphones off. "How can humans sing like that?"  
  
Whit shrugged, "Most of us can't. Amy Lee sure can! She sings for Evanescence, my  
  
favoritest band ever!"  
  
"Umm, right." Gimli looked at her strangely. "Look, are we gonna follow the orcs or  
  
not?"  
  
"Oh, right!" Aragorn started running again.  
  
((~~**+**~~))  
  
Well, there's the first chapter of The Two Really Really Tall Towers! Coming soon: A  
  
revised addition of The Fellowship of the Shiny Ring. See ya! 


End file.
